Asian Break Up Reasons

Wow. Has it already been a year since I’ve written anything here? The thing to know about Asians is that we take our normal lives very seriously, focusing on work, relationships, and other such very serious things.

I’ve made $5 off of this, so it was worth the investment.

We also keep our promises even if it does take some time. This article goes out to a good friend whom I promised that I would write said article.

Why Your Relationship Ended?

Every case is unique; therefore, they are all the same in their uniqueness. Relationships end, but relationships with Asians end for two specific reasons.

Break Up Reason #1: You’re Not Good Enough

Very simply. You just aren’t good enough.
This is just so much awesome that you can’t. You just can’t.
To extrapolate, Asians plan for the long run. They want someone who can take care of the children (all Asians want children – those who don’t are lying, you big lie-o’s), greatly help financially, and get along with her or his parents. Sex isn’t even part of the equation. It could be great, but if you suck at everything else, all you’re good at is sucking.
Asians want everything from a relationship. If you’re like 90% good, that might as well be an F because there’s a guy who’s an A over there. He’s even a doctor… a pediatrician who’s great with his patients (that means he’s good with kids, intelligent, and makes a lot of money, and if you couldn’t infer that… Buddha help you in your relationship), so you should just try and audit the class instead of trying to get a grade (ALL THE METAPHORS).

That English Degree is working really well right now.

Break Up Reason #2: the Asian Parents Have All the Power

“She squinting. I like that she try to fit in.”
The parents have a huge role in whether or not your relationship succeeds. It’s not just Ke Qi, but it’s Xiao Shun, or filial piety. Asian parents are the law, and children respect them (both the law and their parents who are the law).

Many Asian children will live with their parents after college and while they’re working. It’s a great way to save up money, so they can buy a house much earlier (the long run [see above]). That means that they won’t move in with you because that means now they have to cover half your rent, and geez, if you need help paying half the rent, you’re already on shaky grounds there. If you keep pushing for them to leave their parents’ house because you want to grow your relationship, your partner is going to dump you like having too much street cart food (TOTALLY WORTH IT THOUGH – the street cart food… maybe the dumping – you can figure it out).

You’ve created conflict. You might not think of it as conflict because you’re not of Asian culture, and you think it’s completely normal for children to leave the nest. BUT IT’S NOT. Your partner will talk to his/her parents. They will tell him/her no because it’s not smart financially. Then they’ll ask what if you break up? Then you have to break the lease, which won’t be smart financially. Then there will be so much drama. SO MUCH.

And the seed of failed relationship #235 was planted | From Eternal Echoes

And your partner won’t keep pushing. It’s easier to get into a fight with you than it is to get into a fight with the parents. They’re just too smart and win all the time. I can’t wait to have that power.

And if the parents just don’t like you to begin with (which happens quite a lot), your relationship will never progress, which means that there’s an expiration date.

Honestly, this is one of the greatest photos of me. It’s such a great look.

Break Up Reason #3 – ∞: Refer to Reasons 1 & 2

Now that you know, you have the power. Use it wisely, students.