Asian Mothers Eat Tigers for Breakfast

Many of you might have heard of the “Tiger Mom” because of Amy Chua’s book. You might be scared about meeting your Asian significant other’s mother. You might be afraid of Asian women in general.

You should be. Even I, loved by mothers everywhere (many exes’ mothers have told me how much they liked me even after we stopped dating), am afraid to cross an Asian mother. Hence, I only date non-Asians… but that’s a story for another time.

But here are some tips to help approach them without losing your head.

1. Notice that Asian mothers are beautiful and like all beautiful people, they act with a sense of self-confidence that borders onto the line of I-will-destroy-you-if-I-so-feel.

You’ll be too focused on their body to realize their faults… until 60.

Just agree with them and move on. My mother calls me stupid, I agree, and we’re good. If I defend myself, then it becomes a week long argument about how I don’t appreciate her and I never agree with her. Once more, just agree with them, even if they’re yelling at you, which brings us to the next point.

2. Asian mothers have shrill and loud voices. If they’re yelling at you, more likely than not, they’re just talking. You don’t want to see an Asian woman/mother yelling. You won’t ever be the same after that.
This family breakfast ended with both males crying

3. Your Asian girlfriend who you plan on marrying will one day become your Asian wife. Remember this and godspeed.

Meanwhile, I’ll be with all the white girls.

All the ladies!
Oh yah.

Ramble ramble ramble.