Tiny Asian Women Have Superpowers

Asian women are interesting creatures. I’ve already discussed about why non-Asians seem to love Asian women so much (link contains 1 bikini photo, maybe NSFW) and what Asian mothers are like. But there’s something more people should know about Asian women, specifically the tiny ones.
Now, you may be laughing to yourself saying “HAH. All Asians are short!” Yet somehow, the second tallest person in the world is Asian.
2 Asians on there? WHAAAT? | From Guy-Sports

That’s right. Zhao Liang and Bao Xishun are taller than you and anyone in your family… ever. Even besides the incredibly giant Asians, the shortest family member in my nuclear family is 5’4.5,” which happens to be average for female Americans. Therefore, my older sister is average (TAKE THAT, GOLDEN CHILD). My father is average at 5’10,” my cousin is tall at 6’2″ (which I’m both proud and jealous of), and I’m 6.’ 
Regardless, we’re talking about the short Asian women around 5’1,” which happens to be average in Asian countries. These women have extraordinary features.
Unadulterated Gluttony
These tiny wonders of the world can eat as much food as they want and never gain a single pound.
This Korean-born American will win more trophies than you ever will, and it’s for something as awesome as eating. | I don’t remember where I got the photo, but here’s a link to Wikipedia
Let’s forget this tiny 5’3″ miraculous creature of legend known as Sonja Thomas because she’s a competitive eater. Instead, here’s an anecdote from my own life. I went to University of California, Irvine aka UCI aka Under Construction Indefinitely aka University of Chinese Immigrants. All of these things are true. I’m the son of Chinese Immigrants, so I kinda make the last one true.
UCI is one of the most heavily Asian populated schools in California, and when I dormed my first year, two-thirds of the women in my dorm were Asian. That’s 14 out of 21.
Whenever my friends and I would go to the cafeteria, we’d see some of them. And dear god, the amount of plates stacked over there made me cry. I was incredibly jealous of their raw potential at eating anything. I will admit to gaining the Freshman 15, which I promptly lost the in a month after not being next to dorm cafeteria food. But these girls…
After this photo was taken, the Asian women charged toward the cafeteria ten feet away – true story.

Even going to all you can eat sushi buffets, I see these tiny Asian women eat a ton of food if they’re hanging out with other Asians. If it’s an Asian woman with a white guy, I see them politely put down their chopstick and lie through their teeth when they say “I’m so full.” Why do I say they’re lying?

They politely put down their chopsticks. Any Asian who’s actually full has eaten straight into a food coma and drops the chopsticks in a clatter that resonates success.
Instead, my wife is the most expensive person to take to all you can eat sushi. When calculating how much eat piece cost us, my friend ate $.50 a piece, I ate $.75 a piece, and my wife ate $2 a piece.
The most expensive plate of sushi I’ve ever paid for in my entire life.
Super Strength
Tiny Asian women also seem to have unprecedented strength. My theory is that they have the same amount of energy as everyone else, but because they’re so petite, they release more of it. In essence, their tiny bodies are superior in their efficiency to us tall ones. 
Fun factoid – there is some truth in my theory in the heart and muscles having to support less strain but whatever.
I once carried a tiny Asian girl half way across UCI. She probably only weighed a bit over 100, while I weighed 150 at the time. I then got lazy and put her down, to which she replied “God. Why you so weak?” She then proceeded to further emasculate me by carrying me up a hill.
One of the Asian women depicted in this photo carried me. Either way, I’m hiding in the back.
There’re some obvious ones like a Banshee shriek and the ability to make white guys do what they want, but really, that’s just being mean.